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Welcome to our community newsletter, where we can share and focus on forgiveness.
Forgiveness message.
As I listened to the morning message on Sunday morning 5th June 2005, I felt
excited to hear more about forgiveness.
I wanted to share it with some of my friends, so placed the audio recording on
http://forgivenessnews.com/generosity
Forgiveness
I asked for permission to share it with a wider community, and I am very happy
that it was granted. I was also pleased to be complimented on the stories that
are on Forgiveness News. I thank all those who have contributed for that. I also
acknowledge all Forgiveness News subscribers and visitors for your
encouragement.
Audio track Play,
Stop and Pause
Forgiving those who do not forgive.
I was thinking about not forgiving him until until the time that he became
willing to forgive me. I was reluctant to forgive him, as I wanted him to learn
to initiate the forgiveness. Yet he seemed to remain unwilling to forgive. I
asked other people, and most believed that he should forgive first. I researched
about this and noticed that most people are unwilling to forgive. I realized
that he may never forgive me, and if I follow other people's advice, I would
just be another unforgiving person. That is not what I am committed to being. So
I forgave him, and he forgave me.
Communion speech about forgiveness.
I enjoyed the communion talk at the 10am service on Sunday
20 March 2005 at Richmond Assembly Of God. In addition to their Christian
views of forgiveness, it tells about other practical aspects of
forgiveness.
Audio track Play,
Stop, Rewind and Fast Forward
Audio track Play,
Stop and Pause
Forgiving saves us from being
repeatedly upset.
"I felt angry when he parked his car so close to my car that it was difficult
for me to get in to my own car. I was annoyed, and thought about how
inconsiderate he was in doing that. I was upset for most of the day after that."
When somebody does something that I do not like, I can choose to continue to
remain upset, or I can choose to forgive him and allow myself to enjoy the day
instead. Until I forgive him, I will tend to remain upset. I may feel as though
I have completely forgotten about what happened, however when anything even
remotely similar happens, my memory will be triggered. If I have not forgiven
him, I will again be upset as I recall the event when my memory is triggered.
But if I have forgiven him, I will no longer be upset as I recall that event
that happened in the past.
I may also need to forgive myself for getting so angry at him. It is natural to
feel rage when I am inconvenienced. With conscious effort, I can choose to get
over what happened in the past. I can forgive.
Forgiveness and self expression
We limit our self expression by not forgiving.
Whatever we do impacts other people as well as affecting ourselves. Often the
effect of our actions is not what we expected. If we are to live and
learn, we will often cause both desired and undesired results.
We could choose to limit our self expression, thus limiting both our desired
results and our undesired outcomes.
Or we can forgive ourselves and others for undesired outcomes, and live our
lives more fully.
A lesson in forgiveness
Hearing on the news stories of a huge natural disaster and seeing pictures in
the newspapers and on television of the devastation have left me feeling
shocked and horrified.
I have heard people blaming governments and individuals for the losses being so
great. After hearing several people asking why God would cause such a
horrendous event, I started thinking about that question. I initially thought
that we as humans take risks. That is part of life. Some times we get away with
taking those risks. Other times we don't. Years ago somebody recommended that I
move up to the mountains to avoid a big tidal wave. I chose not to, as I did
not want to, and I considered the risk comparatively small. By chance I got
away with it as this time I live far enough away from the occurrence. I can
imagine where living with such beautiful friendly people could be well worth
the risks of being wiped out maybe once every few thousand years.
I also learned to take more risks in interacting with people in my life. I used
to blame others whenever I got upset. I tried to protect and isolate myself
from others in order to avoid the risk. I would forever hold resentment toward
them for all sorts of things and blamed them for my feelings of sadness,
disappointment and pain.
I now consider that being at least a certain amount open is preferable to
trying to play it safe. I can be responsible for times I do feel hurt by
forgiving those people and accepting my own choice to take the risk. I can
enjoy life so much more. I accept that I may experience joy, sadness,
happiness, hurt and anger. By willingly embracing and accepting all those
emotions I can more easily forgive.
Time to forgive
He had asked me for the loan of the money, and promised to repay it at the end
of December 2004. However shortly before the end of the year, when I
noticed he had bought some things for himself, I wondered if he had left himself
enough money to repay me. He hadn't. I was really angry.
I stopped and thought about it for a moment. I could see that I could blame him
for my anger, or I could take responsibility for having risked lending my money
to him.
Later, I noticed that I still felt just as angry. It was not getting any better.
I put my boxing gloves on and expressed my rage by hitting the punching bag. At
least I could think more clearly about him after that. I then wrote a
forgiveness letter, not for the purpose of giving to him, but for me to practice
forgiving him. That was the easy part, and I felt complete in less than 5
minutes. I then spent more than half an hour forgiving myself for having lent
him the money.
Who do you need to forgive?
I know that as a parent, I have in some ways been really great, yet I
have also made some mistakes that have caused my 18 year old daughter a lot of
pain.
She often tells me how much support I have selflessly given her.
She is so willing to forgive me for my shortcomings.
I believe that one of the reasons that she sees me as such a great dad is that
she is so willing to forgive me.
As a parent, I want my daughter to be responsible for herself in her life. I do
not want her to to blame me for her life not working out the way she wants.
As I see so many people who have not forgiven their parents, I am extremely glad
that my daughter has chosen to be responsible by forgiving me. She has inspired
me to forgive myself.
Others forgive me more when I
forgive myself.
A friend recommended that I forgive myself more. At first I was reluctant to do
that. I thought that I had good self discipline, however I later began to
realize that in fact I was often just being hard on myself. I was not
forgiving myself for some of my mistakes and failures. I had unrealistic
expectations of myself. I would get upset when I did not meet those
expectations. As I started being more forgiving towards myself, I noticed that
other people began to be more forgiving towards me.
Read more about forgiveness -
120 more articles.
Please note: Forgiveness News provides information in good faith, and provides no guarantees of the suitability of any information, nor of any products or services advertised in Forgiveness News. We request you be responsible for your use of any information or suggestions offered. Some of the information may be controversial, confronting, challenging. We apologize to any persons or organizations we may offend, however will remain firm in our commitment to honesty, empathy and respect for all persons. While some of the material provided may be written by qualified practitioners, Forgiveness News is only a provider of educational, informative and entertaining material, not as a substitute for the advice a qualified practitioner.
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